Audio Book which is over 9 hours long!
This is a non fiction book and the review is like a summary for those who may not read the book and a preview for those who would! This only highlights the main points in the book and does not spoil the show in case you do read the same!
The starting with an indirect ode to Dale Carnegie and his more popular book how to win friends and influence people on how the book was released in 1930s and since then the generation and world has changed and we need a version 2 of the tricks! The book has been mentioned several times in this book!
How to stand out or be noticed or be popular or desirable was the first trick which is a direct parallel to Dale’s smile at everyone! But the difference is that the smile must not be fast but delayed and special!
The second is eye contact and keeping it as close as possible and how to use that eye contact like a sticker to even make someone fall in love with you!
The next trick is to be confident and have a posture which makes you a winner or looks like one! How some mannerisms make you a winner just by looking!
Another trick is explained by the story of a child hugging his mother and how the author then tells to reach out to your inner infant and give someone your full attentions! (In this trick though the author says you must give a big smile!)
The next trick is to meet someone new and act as if he or she is your old friend! Hug and smile and basically make a big deal! That will make the person like you more!
The next trick is not to fidget too much when you are making an important point! Don’t touch your nose or rub your hands or ears! Apparently too much fidgeting makes an impression that you are lying! The author also tells how the lie detector machine actually doesn’t detect lies but shows the changes in the autonomic system of the body!
The next trick comes with a very interesting story about Hans the horse which could multiply Divide and even answer language questions! How to read people like having an ESP which even the horse could do!
Leil Lowndes apart from pretty interesting tricks tells the story of clever Hans! Apparently Hans could do addition, substraction and even division and multiplication! Later of Hans even knew languages!
What’s so great about that you say!?
Well, Hans was a horse!
So Clever Hans (German: der Kluge Hans; c. 1895 – c. 1916) was a horse that was claimed to have performed arithmetic and other intellectual tasks!
The fame of the horse was so widespread that it was the talk of the town!
So much so that people wanted it to be investigated!
The first group of investigators even sent the owner out but to their surprise the horse answered all the questions with its tap very accurately!
But the audience was not satisfied so they got another investigation done! This time though the question was asked silently and the audience waited for the answer with baited breath!
Of course this time though all the horse did was, well be a horse and not clever at all! It was explained after a formal investigation in 1907, by psychologist Oskar Pfungst who started that the horse was not actually performing these mental tasks, but was watching the reactions of his trainer!
He discovered this artifact in the research methodology, wherein the horse was responding directly to involuntary cues in the body language of the human trainer, who was entirely unaware that he was providing such cues. When the trainer was not present, Hans picked up the clues from the audience! When it reached the correct answer the collective gasp or awe or breath holding told Hans when to stop! In honour of Pfungst’s study, the anomalous artifact has since been referred to as the Clever Hans effect and has continued to be important knowledge in the observer-expectancy effect and later studies in animal cognition!
It’s difficult to list all the 92 tricks but there are sufficient overlaps and contractions so don’t worry about the number!
The basic premise is to be genuinely interested in what people say or do!
Never ask questions while fumbling like I am from Columbia which causes loss of words! Instead learn more about places from where someone is from and use that!
Another great technique is Parroting! Just repeat the last word of conversation and guide the conversation where you want! That will make people open up!
There is also a trick to be like a child and give it all! Or how you will give all your attention to a child no matter what and do exactly that with anyone else you are interested in!
An interesting thing the author sates is that sometimes people may not directly like to tell you what they do! So a better question to ask instead of “What do you do?” Is to ask “What do you like to do in your free time?”
Another thing she mentioned as a woman or gal is that they spend ages in front of the Mirror and when they finally come to see you in all probability they expect you to say something nice!
In addition of saying nice make sure you have a thesaurus to say stuff similar to nice and this trick is also to be used in other situations to sound more intellectual than you are! So instead of using simple words like smart, you must use words like resourceful and stuff! Reminds me of how Joe in friends read an encyclopaedia of the letter v and parroted everything in v!
At least one word a day since the difference between normal person and elite is just a matter of 50 words! So use them in your vocabulary and become a speech elite very soon!
If you are visiting a new place or a country then the first thing you need to do is get a book on their belief and customs! The author here tells about how her friend lost her Japanese connection after her behavior which could have been normal in other parts of the world but appalling in Japan!
Another nifty trick is to know the professional inner working words! That means if you are a jeweler or want to buy a diamond you need to know that the inside name! Like the inside name for a diamond is rock! Once you use these names then you end up getting the respect and consideration of the inside person!
Potent imaging is the trick to use the connection words while speaking! To get a close inside connection! For guys it can be football terms!
Accidental adulation praise someone accidentally but truthfully so that he or she will remember and be happy!
Killer compliment is the term the author uses for this!
Little strokes are the little things which you can say or do to make someone at ease or comfortable!
Knee jerk wow! Quick as a blink in a wink! which means how you can compliment fast and spontaneously so that it will feel genuine and true!
Boomerang compliment is the compliment which is not made to the person directly but to his or her close friend or colleague which finds its way to the intended person!
The Tombstone game is self explanatory where you would like to think what is written or what you want to be written in your tombstone and act like that!
Salute the spouse means that if you want to get into the good books of someone, you must cajole the spouse!
Your ten seconds audition! Or cliffhanger message! is the message you keep in your answering machine which is like a trailer of what you are!
Your goof your gain! which means that even if there is something tragic or major goof happening; great and confident people simply ignore it and move on! The minor goof ups does not bother them! They are much above these trivial things!
Buttercups for their boss! is how you inform the supervisor of a person about how good a job is done by the subordinate! It will always get you good treatment!
Now there are many such tricks mentioned in the book and it is a good read or listen! The important ones have been listed above and explained!
A good book nevertheless if you are socially awkward or wonder why you do not get any contracts or friends! Of course there is no straight forward technique and it is a work in progress!
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