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It was the days of doordarshan and the buzz was a Mithun Da movie Rukshat and there was a scene which was considered adult at that time!….All the guys in my class Esp Sapan the craziest fan of Mithun and Nilofer the second craziest fan had narrated the scene with vivid and different discription (read spicy!!) Every other time!…..Those were the days when a movie used to be screened only on Sunday evenings and of course everyone would watch that only and have an extensive discussion on Monday!!…..Any such scene would of course never be there!…. Everything was left to imagination and we would see two flowers coming together in close embrace prudently disregarding every law of nature and wind direction!!!….

So this was a big thing and the scene was set!….We even knew when the scene would come and myself and my brother were ready!…He of course had a book which he would read and watch movie in between (though rarely would I see a page turn!!)……
So the time came and we were keen with anticipation and at that moment my mom suddenly asked me to get a glass of water!!…..I was both shocked and surprised but there was no escaping that command!….My brother just then turned the page so he was safe!….I ran towards the fridge to get water, fill a glass and ran back just to see to my dismay that the scene was over!!…..And I could swear that mom had an all knowing smile on her face!….The next day I was dreading to go to school since I would know that everyone would be discussing the scene Esp Sapan and I would be either forced to keep quiet lie!…I was this surprised to see a quiet class the next day!…. The most silent was Sapan!….I asked him what happened and did he watch the scene!??….He said with remorse that he could’nt watch it!…..I asked him why? To which he replied that, He went to get a glass of water for his mom!!!……

Only Nilofer was smiling and we were all amazed how he could survive mom’s safety attack!….He replied with a wink and twinkle, “I was reading a book!!”…..
That’s when I realized the work of  mom’s in this world who like super heroes protect their kids against the attack of the idiot box!……Am sure that just like the justice league and avengers even Moms will have a meet before any such problem and discuss the counter measures!…. One would suggest coin under the table or bed or hide the face under sheet though most would use the easiest and best attack; glass of water!!!
Other special super power includes getting money out of the sugar jar and from dad!…..That special prayer before exams and blessing of the exam board which was the single most important reason why anyone would pass!….and that special food when we were not well which would drive the cold away!!…..
The other day I had taken the whole family to Bahubali and I had prepared my kids for all possible attacks!…The loud noise, the killing and those animals but there was a scene when Bahu gets too close to comfort to Devasena and I was too stunned to react!….I had only a few seconds to make my move!!……

So I called both my kids who were glued to the screen and asked them if they want a glass of water!!…..

The scene was tackled successfully and my mom looked at me and gave that same smile!!!…..
You can pray and pray but in the end a glass of water will save the day!!….

In the parliament somewhere in Britain in the 1800s….
The queen Sonja by virtue of being the ex king’s wife was speaking to her son prince Raul…..
“Why all this noise mamma?…. What do people not want me as the next king?… Am I not deserving?… This is hard work…I just returned from a tour to the Europe…. Don’t even have time to rest”….
“Lay of the wine atleast when you have to attend the session son. And why is your dress torn??”…
Raul,”trust me mamma it’s something which you don’t want to know!!..”… He said between winks…
Sonja thought to herself, “If he wasn’t my only son I myself would have put him down!!”….
“There’s our accountant Sir Manmon trying to ask your permission to speak….. Is he not the leader of our party till I am an old boy mum?… Then why he needs your permission for everything??… Sometimes I feel he even uses the loo after asking your permission!”… He chuckled at his own joke while the queen just banged her head in despair…..

 

“Don’t forget he is the one who warms our seat son”…
“How does he do that mom”.
“It’s just three G!…good coal!..green grass and gold chair….he uses this combination to keep the chair warm…he is an expert in that”…..
“So whats the big deal about this election mum?….Am I not supposed to get the seat automatically?”..
“Those were the old days son… Now there’s some new trend called democracy….. You need an election and all and that’s why you must come to these sessions and attend our rallies if you want be the king….you should particularly be aware of this chief called Modiolus Maximus”…..
“Wasn’t he the tea seller who served us tea when we went to that village??” R said…

“Don’t say things like that aloud son; remember democrazy!!”

“Also it’s not like the old times…news travels very fast now through a series of running or mobile messengers!!…they are calling it the internetwork!!”….
“Sounds lame mama….I don’t think it will ever catch up!!”.

“This is Chief Airwind’s file…..he is again complaining that Modiolis is trying to kill him!!….see he has marked his files with degrees!..I think he is obsessed with degrees!!”..R uttered……
That’s Zero you nincompoop!!.. Thought the queen…I don’t know what’s motherhood but I guess that’s the only thing which is preventing me from strangling his neck!!

Six months have passed since and the elections have bought many changes… There was always one party named after the grass of contrasting colours called the congrass which always used to win the elections but this time another party led by the lotus grass won with a clear mandate…
A session in progress and the new prime member Modiolus had some new announcement to make before which the leader of opposition had the bench….

“We have always believed that sun revolves around the earth and the earth revolves around the moon!… That’s my opinion and also the opinion of so many economists/astronomist all over!… Then this new proposal from prime member or PM Modiolus would lead to monumental mismanagement of epic proportions!!”……
The speaker was stunned to hear Sir Manmon speak!…he remembered the time for ten years when he never used to utter a word!…he asked the present prime member the details about his proposal…
” Sir, in consultation with my experts I am proposing that it’s actually the earth which rotates around the sun and the moon revolves around the Earth…also my conclusion is that the old flat note theory that Earth is flat is wrong and the new note theory is that the earth is round”….
The whole assembly was stunned at this announcement….the speaker asked the Prime member what’s the name of your proposal??
Modiolus said,” since we are removing moon from the center point of circulation I call it…..Demoonetisation!!!….

The lift principle…..
You come to our apartment and there’s a couple of lifts (elevators for the Americans!). If you want to go up and you see the lift is above the ground floor then I have seen people pressing the down button because they want the lift to come down!…. But that’s not how it works!… If you want to go up then you need to press the up button only!…. The lift would then come down and take you up!…. What you learn is that the lift knows where it has to go!… You just tell the lift where you want to go rather than trying to teach the lift where it has to go!!!!…..
So this is a story of an ENT pal of mine….😉..

This patient walked in and announced he had a sinus!…. So my pal corrected him saying that everyone has sinus but do you mean that you have a sinus problem?

He said,” yes that’s what I meant! I wouldn’t know the technical thing but you should know that right!!?”

So he was asked,”let’s leave it there and tell me your symptoms?”

The discussion then went like this….

I sneeze a lot…..

Do you have headache?

No

Then why do you say you have sinus problem?

Because I have sneezing and occasional nose block!

Oh but that’s not sinus problem but allergy!

What’s the difference doctor!!??

Well usually sinus problem means that you have infected sinuses which usually cause headache!….

I do have headache doctor when I don’t sleep well or when I think or am under stress or when I get exposed to loud noise for a long time!…..

Well in an these situations I would be more bothered if you didn’t have headache!!…

Also I get headache when I skip a meal!..

Hey same pinch!…. Everyone does by the way!!

But doctor can’t you just take a scan just to be sure!??….
This is when the button of the lift was pressed….. But my friend understood where it was going….. If he didn’t get the scan the patient would shop till he gets the scan….. So a scan was ordered and it revealed mild mucous collection with otherwise normal sinuses!..….
Now anyone who gets a scan done in Bangalore will get this finding more so when he or she has a mild cold…..

But who can try to explain this to the patient who actually has sinus problem in his mind than in his sinuses!……
A course of Anti allergy was ordered and a review after couple of weeks was ordered….. Both were not satisfied….. But that’s the way it is…..
Next patient…. Doctor, ” I get severe headache and nose block Esp after taking Head bath”…..

My pal told him after examination that he may have a sinus problem and needs a scan also for getting to know the grade and severity of the problem….
The button again….”Is the scan really necessary doctor!!?”……
The lift just sighs and goes on trying to make you reach where you want to go……

They say (who I don’t know and frankly I don’t care!) That the early morning dew and the mist is very romantic. But for a kid whose only hope was a merit seat if he at all wanted to become a doctor it just meant that it was cold and most importantly it’s morning!!…

So that was me …..I had always liked the silence of the night to the noise of the day. I guess if the noise was reversed it would have been a different story. In those times of being a lonely kid in the company of books in the first floor of that scary house were the only thing I remember. 

A glass of hot tea made by myself during which I would go down to see my mom watching some Amitabh Movie (it was a fad during those times since DD was expanding and experimenting!) And I would sit on the lonely chair at the end of the bed. Dad would have been fast asleep without a care of the world and hardly perturbed by the noise of the idiot box. 

Ceasor would have been there previously which was replaced now with an empty space at the side of the door.

A quick cup of tea would take just five minutes and I would make an extra cup for mom. Bhai was anyway far away in thrissur and frankly he never liked to read in the night. 

I would watch a part of the movie and at the most interesting part I would separate myself from the TV like an addict removing the drug and throwing it on the floor. The only companion on the top would be my loneliness my fear and of course my old stereo. The old behemoth would be ten times the size of the present music players and maybe weigh hundred times more!!…..

Those were the days of vividh bharti and AM radio… The cassette players which used to get stuck and it was easier to rewind them using the pencil which was usually the only reason why we still had pencils!……… 
My dad used to explain that when we are young our mistakes are erasable and temporary but as we grow older they become permanent…

So there are only two people who actually can move through Bangalore traffic…. The first are the ones who are horny (wait for it… Don’t get any ideas in traffic!!) And the second group are the two wheelers!!…
Coming to the horny ones!!….. No; being struck in traffic is not romantic and certainly not horny!!…. The name in Bangalore actually refers to subsets of drivers who drive and speak with their horns!!… They say hi to you, maybe even scold you and certainly curse you by blowing their err horn!!…. The horns are so effective that they do not need to brake!!…it usually starts when the traffic signal is touching orange and stays till it becomes red again!!!…. There are many drivers who don’t or rather can’t drive a vehicle if the horn doesn’t work!… In fact I know of a taxi driver who didn’t report to work cause his horn wasn’t working!!… This when he did report to work when even his brakes were loose!!….

The most irritating horns of course are of the smaller vehicles and just like the voice of humans (??), The horns of the vehicle also follow a hierarchy!!….. And yes you guessed it right, the horn of a big bus would be full of bass treble and loud!!….. And when you hear that occasionally then you better move and give way to the boss (I mean bus!!…)
Now coming to the other group who can escape traffic to a certain extent… The two wheelers…. These are a special group of drivers who don’t stop!…. In fact the definition of a big traffic jam is when a two wheeler stops!… When at least one of the leg touches the ground then theres little hope around!!!…. In an emergency you can trust only your old bike (that’s a very broad term) and nothing else…. In fact there was a thought even by the state in these lines when they introduced the motorcycle ambulance!…. Don’t ask me what happened to them though!!…..
That brings me to my special situation!…. Why I still use my two wheeler?….. simply because it saves a lotta time….. I don’t have to worry about banging and running big costs and it’s low maintenance…… My Ortho pal abhi though always warns me of the perils of two wheeler accident but it literally falls on my deaf ears!!…..
But giving a little thought I have settled for a stable bike with huge center of gravity (read fat!!)… One which looks good (pricy!!) And is low maintenance (not bullet!!) And still can be used without worrying much about wear and tear (it’s not a Harley!!)…. So introducing the new Avenger in town!!…… don’t want to bite the dust though!!….

 

I had read somewhere that adding jaggery to the sambar was a ploy invented by the kannadigas to get back at tamilians!!

It could be true also since anyone who likes the traditional Tamil sambar would never imagine putting jaggery in it!…
I still remember when my close relative did that to a sambar which I had made when she came to visit us!….I was livid!….

In fact if you want to find out if a particular person is tamilian or kannadiga just taste their sambar!!… If it’s sweet then kannadiga it is!!!

The same goes for tamarind. Yeah I know kannadigas also put tamarind in their sambar but that’s rare and if they do they change the nomenclature to Huli!!…
It tastes like your traditional tamil sambar but it’s not called sambar!..it could be loosely related to the kara kozhambu which a Tamil meal would have. This is a distant cousin of sambar but no dal and very spicy!!..not as spicy as the gun powder which you get in andhra hotels though!!!…
Now coming back to sambar…..I have never put jaggery in sambar since it’s just not done!!…..
In our house we make Kannada sambar when my in laws come and when my parents come it’s time to take the tamil sambar out!…. The nuances of mixed marriage you see!!… My wife is a true blue kannadiga while we were palakkad tamilians who are a special breed of tamilians!….we belong to Kerala but are not malayalis!!….we do not belong to tamil nadu though we can speak like a proper tamalian (with proper practice of course!!) Any day!!…..
Over the years typical Kannada rice or chitranna was my wife and kids standard forte though as a palakkad tamilian I stuck to tamarind rice!!…

Another dish which is the pride of kannadiga is the bisi bele bath!….ask any tamilian he would say that it’s just sambar rice with garam masala but for a kannadiga it is Prasada!!….

Over the years I had become an expert in cooking both lemon rice and bisi bele bath!!…. Though I never ate the former I use to relish the later……

One fine day we called my dads friends for dinner and since they were also almost kannadigas now I decided to make bisi bele bath!!…… since both had Tamil and malayalam roots I decided to take a risk and add a larger dose of tamarind to the concoction….all the vegetables like cauliflower capsicum potato onion tomato and beans and that very aromatic powder and I knew I had a winner in my hands!!!!…..
All set and since we were hungry we decided to have a taste!!… The moment we opened the cooker the aroma filled the room and all of us were eager to bite into the dish!!….Minu was the first to get the first bite though and she couldn’t hide the fact that all’s not well…..I usually believe only my palate to find out if my cooking was good or not and so I tasted it myself to realize that my over tamarind mixing had back fired!!….
The bath was so sour that even a pregnant lady who generally like sour things would not eat more than some bites….. In the damage control phase then I made the dish little more Watery and added more salt and powder but it was just too sour!!….. Losing all hope I was wondering what to do when Minu suggested me to put some jaggery into the dish!!…..it was blasphemous for me at the time but I was desperate!…. Since it was a lot I had to reluctantantly go with the flow so to speak and put two huge chunk of jaggery in the dish….. We waited for five minutes for the jaggery melt and gel with the rice dal vegetables and finally the tamarind….. once again Minu took a bite and even this time she couldn’t hide her emotion (one of the many reasons why I like her off course!!) But this time it was a good emotion!!…I did the litmus test myself and I would certainly tell that it was one of the tastiest bisi bele bath which I had ever tasted in my life!!!….

It was after that day when the jaggery finally found a place on my cooking shelf when making Bisi bele bath and Also sometimes when I used to make rasam….. So do I put jaggery in sambar now??…. Baby steps friends…… For now tamarind that’s me and jaggery that Minu make an awesome combination!!!!….
Wishing her a very happy birthday!!…. Now time for some Huli!!

The search goes on….
Everyone’s​ searching for something or someone. The whole purpose of every living being is search. For animals it can be the search for food and water while for humans it is for that and everything else. Everyone gets up in the morning only Because of the need for search.
It can be new ways to make money or a new project or even a new job!…
If nothing else it’s just a search for a new meaning to life.

Many people are searching for a soul mate while many others are just searching for a soul to mate!!…..

The politicians are also always searching. When in power they search for solutions to problems while in opposition they search for problems to solutions!….

Many scientists are searching for making our life easier while many religious zealots are searching for things to make our life hard!….

Doctors and health professionals are always searching for ways to make the patient’s life easier while patient’s​ nowadays use GOOGLE to search and make life as difficult as possible for the doctor!!…..

Many astronomers are searching for a human life in any other planet while many of us are constantly searching for a humane life in earth!…..

Children usually search for new things to get in trouble while parents are searching things to keep them away from trouble!!..
They of course join forces together everyday to search for that elusive TV REMOTE which I feel is the biggest mystery. Even more than the Bermuda Triangle!….The places remote goes and is found is probably why it is called Remote!!…

The day you get up in the morning and realize your search has ended is the day of your reckoning!…

My biggest search every morning is for that rare entity which is the pair of the sock in my hand!!…..I will always get one but finding the pair is an arduous task indeed!….. Every night I would remember tucking the sock with it’s pair and in the morning it would adulterously pair with another sock of a different colour, length and type in a cozy embrace!…. Separating them I would then call out to my wife to see if she has seen my brown sock (emphasis on the colour….. Racism is in our genes!!)……She would then ask me to see THERE!!…..Now THERE is a place often mentioned by the mother or the wife!….It’s very clear when they utter it but when we hear it then it becomes an enigma!!….. Only bravehearts and possibly a guy in a hurry would ever dare to ask where’s THERE??!!..Which I did since I was the latter!……She mentioned something about the sock drawer!…I did not want to admit that I did not know that a place called sock drawer exists!…So I said it’s not there!!….

The next step of the search begins here…. You place the sock in your hand (none in the sock drawer!!) On the table from where you know for sure that the sock would not dare escape!…. You see socks have an inherent pride!….So I go inside and search in my cup board when after five minutes my wife would call out those magical words (no it’s not I love you!!)….It is I FOUND IT!!…..I run with happiness only to realize that she found the sock which I had kept on the table so safely!….My sadness then equates to the person who has just been told that you have come first only to be told later that it was a mistake!!…..I would then reluctantly start the search again giving my wife a look of an injured lion who just lost his kill!!….Then in the wee corners of the drawer I would find that sock just trying to escape!…My search of the day has ended!.…… Many times people have asked me how I can come to work everyday smiling!..(they of course are polite enough to not to say that I was mad!!)….. Mostly I wouldn’t say anything but think of the search that ended in a victory today!!!….I found the pair!!!!…..Of course that’s only till another search begins!!….

My pearl of wisdom for the day…..Hope you find what you are searching for……

Those were the days when I was in charge of a hospital (a small one but a hospital nevertheless!!)…… Used to get up by early in the morning to start our cases as our Op used to begin At 9…… On a peak day would operate many cases and see around many pure ENT patients. Having so many Ent patients is by itself a great experience…and no I was just managing the hospital and I never had any share of the profits!!..
But this is not about that….. This had happened to me before but I am a slow learner!!…
Your son needs tonsil surgery is what I told the father of a kid who was having severe tonsillitis and growth impact….. The frequent infection and severe nose block had made the poor kids life miserable. Why they had to wait for so long was beyond my understanding but when I saw the kids father I understood. His tattered clothes mangy hair and nicotine stained teeth gave more information than you could ask for.
In any case I told him that we can reduce the rate by ten percent but apparently even that was a bit too much for the father to chew. After much haggling and a call to my head in the main hospital I could reduce the price to almost half the initial cost!….. Surgery was smooth and the kid recovered well…. Since the discharge took some time the parents were taking the kid just as I was getting down closing for the day….. I usually avoid speaking to patients beyond hospital hours or outside cause I have seen that it initiates an unnecessary flow of random questions!!….. Also since most of the time I try to save time and come by bike rather than the car there’s the matter of prestige in front of the patients which only another doctor in a corporate hospital would understand!!….
But this one was different…. This kid was special and looking at him I could feel the warmth of the halo over my head!!… I made some non important comment while patting the kids head ( I recently got to know that kids hate it when someone does that!!)…. As a final farewell to the father I gave him some money (I think it was around 100₹…) And told him to take his kid by an auto to his home and not by bus….. He sheepishly looked at me and asked if car is fine?…. Perturbed I thought that this father would have kept money for going in a taxi and that would explain the bargaining…. In any case every penny saved is important…. I was lost in this thought and muttered in agreement which is when I saw the father call out to another equally dirty guy standing for the family ( I thought he was their relative…)…
The guy who was apparently one of their many drivers saluted the father and took their luggage and kept it in a shiny innova parked just beside my old rusty bike!!…. The whole family then gave me big smiles showing their dirty teeth reminding me how looks are surely deceiving!!…..

It was during the first year of my ENT Pg in Bangalore medical college. My senior and myself were doing the night duty. Please don’t ask ENT and night duty??!… Bleeding, giddiness, foreign body, extreme breathless and so many emergencies are part of ENT only!…. In any case we had this girl around five years who was admitted in our ward with maggots….Yes u read it right. These larva of houseflies are seen in poorly kept open wound and this kid had a bad ear discharge. They slowly eat away the dead skin and come out occasionally for air and light only to scamper back to the insides of body cavity slowly eating their way and feeding on our own flesh.
The mother who would have been not more than 26-27 years (my age!!) Bought the girl stating that this was the best time to take out the maggots since they come out at night. This was her third girl child and it showed. The bedsheet which she used to cover her would have never come in contact with water and the dress which the little one was wearing had lost its original color and blended with the colour of the bedsheet which in turn was blending with the colour of the girl….all brown and black and now red over the ears…The lady kept on mumbling on how this time with this kid she wants to do things right. How she wants to make her read and educate her properly. The first two kids were apparently lost cause. The first one was already married and the second was least interested in studying. She was good in cleaning utensils and house though. My senior and myself used the old lamp in our minor procedure room to take out those wriggling maggots one by one. Those wriggly worms would try to escape our tweezers but we held on…. We removed close to ten in all and could immediate see the relief in the kids eyes!…. Those previous sunken eyes were now having a twinkle…..all done and set and my senior remarked so what’s for dinner!!???…
Since both of us did not get anything we went to the nearby old joint for a quick bite!!…he ordered his preferred biriyani and I settled on a plate of dried roti and warm yellow water (the waiter insisted that it was dal!!)…. While eating I was sure that I saw a similar worm which we just removed jutting out from the piece of meat which my senior was relishing!…when I mentioned it to him he just said that it’s OK…. Just means more protein!!…. He added that since we just removed so many maggots u are seeing that!!…. In all probability it would just be a worm which is fine by me don’t worry!!

The next day during our rounds I saw the kid running around and when she saw me she gave me a hug!…the mother exclaimed that the doctor has told her to go as the kid is doing good!….she told her kid to come and gimme a hug which she did and I felt it was a long hug…….I said bye to her and was feeling quite happy thinking heartily how we make such great change in the society!…. That’s when my mind which was rooted in reality bought my heart to speed and instinctively told my hands to check on my wallet!!…..it was gone!…. You wouldn’t anyway have much money when u are a government college Pg so the loss was just a couple hundred bucks!….

Then i realized what the kid would be when she grows up……she would lie in the dark and come out to strike and go back to her dark corner worming her way through her decaying existence….. reminded me of something….