“Don’t be sad it’s all good!
Everyone is right where he should!
Speak decently not to loud!
Cause you wanna make him proud!”
The other day a question was asked in a group about why son’s of legends do not become that famous?
Of course there are exceptions and that is the key!
Now exceptions should never be taken as examples but (yes, you knew the ‘but’ was coming!); in this case in the select exceptions, the learning can be summarized in one line; “Avoid stepping into the shoes of a great man (or woman for that matter!)”
read on!
Anyone who has learnt the book 48 laws of power by Robert Greene would know this as the 41st law.
The further elaboration on this law indicates that the author is focused on the complex relationships between a successful father and his son who wants to become powerful, but he needs to do something impressive in order to declare his position!
The author implies that if you have a great father, the only way you can become a greater son is by not following in your father’s footsteps!
Now here he or son is only a metaphor; it can be she and daughter and mother and also can be a predecessor or successor!
When you follow a great man or woman or a leader and try to step in his or her shoes, the burden of comparison will break you!
Many successors struggle when they have to succeed a great leader or famous parent. It’s difficult because the predecessor succeeded by building power from scratch. The successor is starting with a mountain of expectation which is difficult to improve on.
This is why you should avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes.
There’s also outside pressure on the successor to continue on the same course, since it’s working, rather than break with tradition and precedent.
The successor may be afraid to lose his inheritance as well, and therefore hesitates to change things.
According to Greene, when you succeed a great leader, you must find or create your own space to fill.
To avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes, start creating your space by separating yourself from your predecessor!
“Kill” the past and your predecessor by disparaging them. Contrast young with old, the new era against the old era. When John F. Kennedy was elected president, he did everything he could to distinguish himself from Dwight Eisenhower and the fifties era, by making the old look stodgy and the new vigorous and exciting. For instance, instead of playing golf, which was associated with Eisenhower and an older generation, Kennedy played football on the White House lawn!
He also mentions how you must simply remove all traces of old so that the comparison never happens!
When General Douglas MacArthur took charge of American forces in the Philippines in World War II, an aide gave him a book of instructions from predecessors. MacArthur told him to burn the manual and any copies; he would make his own decisions in his own way.
Similarly, you should reject precedent, and learn to respond to circumstances, which will be different from those of the past!
Of course these are extremes! What can be done is to take the best of the old and get better! Keep the ones which work and then do something new!
Many times we have seen how the son does not join the father in his or her business or work; this father may feel bad but in fact he must feel more proud that the young fella wants to carve out his own niche!
Always remember that a son is overwhelmed when he is known by his father’s name and fame while a father is happy and proud when he is known by his son’s name and fame!
Now imagine if someone had a father like our celebrity Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam BR!
Now those are shoes impossible to fill!
Let’s now not worry about making our father proud since he is already so! Just try to make the man or woman in the mirror proud of you!
Shubh ratri!
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