The Nightmare that is Domestic Air Travel! Part 1!

When I started writing this, it was to be a small paragraph but it turned out to be a big one and now I have decided to split it!It all starts when you have a big family with kids who cannot be managed for more than 4-5 hours and the only way is to reach your destination as soon as possible is to take the flight!Remember that if you need to go somewhere and the driving time is less than 6 hours then it is better to drive rather than take the flight since effectively the time will be the same!How you may ask? Well, you need to start for the airport three hours early so that you reach two hours before departure time (Even departure time is misleading since you must always see and follow the time of boarding!). Then you need to wait for the security and waste time in the boarding gate and again flight time which may not be more but then since almost all the airports are far away from city you can add the travel time in the high priced cab! So if you add all of these then the time may even be more!Of course if you want to go to a far away place then flight is the best option and since the tickets are fairly priced, it is also very cost effective! Now do not get me wrong! Flight travel has many advantages of which the time to reach destination is the chief one but then it also has its own share of problems!So we get up very early for a morning flight and if you are an OWL like me then in all likelihood I would have not slept at all! Then you have the cab which after many mishaps we have decided to not book through the app which may be cheap but very unpredictable! We instead always go for the car rental service to be on the safer side, it may be costly but they do not cancel and there is no surge pricing!Now Weekend Vs Weekdays travel! If you travel in the Weekend then the city traffic will be high but in all probability the airport will be crowded while in weekdays the city traffic will be choked and airport is usually not crowded! Then again there are exceptions when you get crowd everywhere! Of course you have got the jackpot if you do not get any crowd anywhere! (Do not get happy just yet! It may be that you are in Kerala and there is a strike and flood and your flight is cancelled!).Finally you pile up your luggage and arrive at the airport when after getting all your bags in one trolley (Including the kid bags which they had promised to take care themselves but then if they are sleeping because of a early flight then you have no choice!). This is when there is a clamour to get the Identity cards of everyone and if you are showing the passport then the security guy will tell you to open the photo page of everyone! Your spouse is holding one sleeping kid while you are holding the trolley which suddenly has a mind of its own! When you had started, it moved with so much effort and now suddenly it has a motorised wheel! The security personnel has seen this so much than he does not have the time or the patience or the necessity to offer you any assistance!Somehow you produce the correct page when he will ask you to place them in the order of names in the ticket! When you were clever before and placed them in that order, he will then tell you to place them in the order of the person entering!Then you stuff everything in your already full pockets (got kids so it is already stuffed with tissues, Vicks and maybe a cough syrup!) and enter the ocean that is the airport with no one telling you anything! So you need to print out your boarding pass (yeah I can do web check in but there is some problem in the details so I have been instructed by the very friendly computer to go to the counter!).In the counter again the Identity cards are given and luggage placed and I am given a look since I did not do web check in! I explain to her that I did the check in and selected the seats also but through the third party app and it did not get registered!Then she will tell you about the extra leg room seats which I would politely decline since I will have to buy four of them!Then after collecting the boarding pass which is now just a piece of paper and not the stiff card which we used to get before we proceed to the most frightening and messy part of the trip; the security check up!Here the family splits and we join the biggest line ever! This is when airport looks like the bus station and we wait for our turn! Many tensed passengers will then ask to come in the front since their flight departure is nearing! We would mostly oblige but the security person does not have to! He will take his own sweet time and the hapless passenger has no choice but to wait and grab the luggage and run!After so many experience, I have learnt to remove shoes, belts and even my steel ornaments so that I will not be told to go back! Then we need to wrestle the tray to keep the electronic items and remove the mobile and tablets out of the bag! It is a marvel that we remember that electronics are allowed in carry on and not check in baggage while food stuffs and gels and other stuffs like cutlery or knife in the check in bags! We must also keep the mobiles in the bag and not through the gate! Many will at this time put even the boarding pass in the bag and clamour for that!Even my 5 year old son is not spared and he is told to stretch his arm and stand straight! He would mechanically do that in half sleep! The things we do just because some nut decided to smuggle or get a bomb inside the flight! But then we bear it since security is important!Then we rush to get the trays back fervently hoping that it did not go into the inspection lane! Of course lady luck also sleeps this early in the morning! The security guy has found my son’s toy gun and he will not allow that inside! He gives me the option of going back and placing it in the checked in baggage and I just tell him to keep it and give it to his own kid whilst consoling my crying son at the same time!After getting dressed again and hoping that we have got everything we normally get some time to kill which is actually the code for money kill! The tasty idli which we get outside for ten bucks sell here for hundreds and you have to stand in another queue for that!Then the kids will eat your head for some prohibitively expensive gift or chocolate!After all that you rush to the toilet and boarding gate again hoping that they will not change in the last moment! Since Bangalore is a silent airport, you will only get a message so you glue in to the notice board like checking your name after the entrance examination!After the gate change you find that the boarding has already started! The polite lady is telling only the first rows to stand in the line but then we love queuing up always! And that too not in a straight line! Then again the identity cards and boarding pass are mined from the Bermuda triangle which is my pocket!Only to see my wife who had taken our daughter to the restroom is nowhere to be seen! She came at the last moment exclaiming much to my chagrin about the crowd in the loo! I also had the same experience! Somehow everyone wants to visit the airport toilet as if it is a tourist spot! Of course it is much better to use the toilet in the ground rather than the cramped hole which is the plane toilet!Finally we get into the bus to get into the airbus! (That was too hard to resist!) thinking our travel is almost done! But of course this is only the interval! There is a lot of movie left!Why the Rambo like image you ask!?
Well domestic traveling with kids is no less than going on a war!!